The most effective method for strengthening your marriage is to take steps that make it a priority. These tips may not be easy to implement and require dedication, but they will result in a stronger, healthier marriage.
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1. Make Time for Each Other
One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is to make time for each other. This may sound simple, but it can be hard for couples who have children or full-time jobs to do. But it’s not impossible to carve out a little time each week for your partner. It just takes some creativity and a willingness to be flexible. For example, if you usually go grocery shopping or run errands by yourself during the day, ask your partner to join you on those days. You may be surprised at how sexy and romantic grocery shopping together can be!
Other activities that can help strengthen your relationship include a night out, dinner with friends, or even just going on a walk. These are all ways you can reconnect with your partner and remind them of how much they mean to you. They can also be a great opportunity to break out of your routine and have some fun.
Spending quality time together can help strengthen your marriage by boosting your oxytocin levels, which is the “love neuropeptide.” You can increase oxytocin by physical affection (holding hands and kissing), cuddling, hugging, socializing, sharing a meal, writing love letters, giving praise, and sexual activity.
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It’s also a good idea to have at least one date night a week or more, whether you’re going out to eat or staying in and watching a movie at home. This is a great way to rekindle your romance and enjoy each other’s company without worrying about the kids or other responsibilities. You can also make a point to be involved with other married couples, such as joining a small group at your church or the YMCA, or a community-based organization like a book club.
2. Don’t Go to Bed Angry
We’ve all heard someone tell newlyweds or a married couple, “Never go to bed angry.” While this sounds like good advice, it can be difficult to put into practice. Whether it’s a minor disagreement or a major issue, there are times when the argument is just too intense to resolve before you go to sleep.
When you argue right before going to bed, you risk saying things that will damage your relationship. Additionally, the physical reaction to anger (an energy burst and accelerated heart rate) can make it difficult to get to sleep. It is also possible that the unresolved tension will carry over into your dreams, further contributing to a lack of rest.
You may feel the need to continue arguing because you think that it will help to finally “set your partner straight.” However, this only adds fuel to the fire and will most likely lead to a prolonged battle that neither of you wants. Even though the issue is important, it is more important to preserve your relationship.
If you are unable to resolve an issue before going to bed, you should agree to table it until the next day. This will prevent resentment from festering and allow you to come up with a more effective strategy for addressing the conflict. Additionally, couples who work through their differences before sleeping are more likely to be open to sexual intimacy, which is a crucial component of any marriage. To learn more about how to strengthen your marriage, consider attending therapy together. Online counseling is available to address a wide range of relationships issues, including communication problems and marital discontent. A qualified therapist can help you and your spouse identify specific areas of concern and develop a plan for moving forward.
3. Don’t Forget About Your Own Needs
When you’re married, it is easy to forget about your own needs in favour of catering to your spouse. While making sacrifices and putting others first is great, you should also take care of your own needs. This is not selfishness; it is simply good for your mental and physical health. This may include getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in self-care activities like taking a bubble bath or reading a book.
It’s important to communicate with your spouse regularly about your interests, dreams, and feelings. This open communication can help you build an unbreakable bond. However, there’s a fine line between communicating and neediness, so be sure to communicate in a way that doesn’t push your partner away.
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Another way to communicate effectively is by responding to your spouse’s emotional calls. These are dozens of small moments throughout the day where your spouse attempts to connect with you. These can be as simple as asking how your day was or as complex as expressing an issue they’re struggling with. It’s important to be aware of and respond to these calls in order to strengthen your marriage.
In addition to focusing on your own needs, it’s also important to remember to have fun with your spouse. Creating shared memories is one of the best ways to strengthen your marriage and create fondness for each other. This could include going on vacations, taking cooking or dance classes together, or even adopting a pet. It’s important to find something that you both enjoy doing and make it a regular activity. This will bring you closer to each other and provide a healthy distraction from your everyday responsibilities.
4. Work on Your Communication Skills
Often times marital issues can be traced back to communication problems. Whether you are fighting over petty things or the bigger issues like infidelity or money, good communication can make all the difference.
When couples learn to communicate better they can resolve issues, build trust, and increase intimacy. The first step to improving your communication skills is to identify areas where you need to work on. Talk to your spouse about what you think needs improvement and come up with a plan together to tackle those Marriage Success Factors.
The next step is to practice your new communication skills. Focus on slowing down your speaking pace and listening more intently to your partner. Try not to jump to conclusions when you listen and pay attention to your tone of voice, especially the timbre, which can indicate anger or disinterest. Also, avoid bringing up past arguments unless you are prepared to have a calm discussion about them.
Lastly, be more giving and less demanding of each other. Remember that your spouse was not designed to meet all of your needs, but they should be more than willing to try. A simple gesture such as a hug or kiss is more likely to be received with gratitude than a critical comment.
Keeping your relationship strong takes time and effort, but it is worth it. Marriages, like Rome, aren’t built in a day, and they must be worked on brick-by-brick and day-by-day to stand the test of time. So get out there and put some work into your marriage, and it will reward you greatly in the future. Good luck!
5. Attend Therapy Together
Whether you’re dealing with unresolved anger or resentment, infidelity, frequent arguments, money issues, or problems with sex, many couples struggle with these issues and find that marriage counseling can help. The therapist will help you learn to communicate better, and may even teach you new skills for improving your relationship.
Many couples wait until they feel their relationship is at breaking point before seeking therapy. However, some experts recommend that couples attend counseling regularly to strengthen their bond and prevent problems from arising in the first place.
In addition to learning healthy communication skills, marriage therapy can also help you understand your partner’s needs and perspectives. For example, you might discover that your spouse’s need to be independent can contribute to their conflict with you, which is a common problem for many married couples. This knowledge can lead to more productive conversations and a happier, more fulfilling relationship.
